I think the only downside to traveling is the thirst for more. To see more and do more. I can’t just say to myself “ok, I’ve seen enough now.” I always seem to want more (and more and more…)
When I start to think this way I remind myself of the quote, “I make myself rich by making my wants few.” Although I find this easier said than done, it does help me to disintegrate these feelings. I suppose by bringing awareness to them.
I had a great trip to Vietnam and right now I am happy to replay the memories in my mind. To reflect on my thoughts, to comb them out.
Each time I travel I return feeling inspired. A break from the routine is a great way to re-evaluate your life. I think it’s critical for your own mental health. Problems that seem huge, shrink and others grow in importance. Perspective changes.
I have been extremely fortunate enough to experience Australia and Vietnam within 3 months of each other. I am so grateful for that.
For some reason on this trip to Vietnam, I spent a lot more time than usual thinking about my sister. They were sad, negative thoughts that affected my mood and energy. I could feel the frown in my face and the anger boiling in me. Normally, I seem to understand that she died, but subconsciously it’s such a difficult concept to accept that my mind lives in this protective state of “she is in Canada and I’ll see her again soon.” I rarely ever get the sensation that she really is gone. That was all the time I had with my sister and she isn’t going to be a part of my future. On this trip, it hit me so hard and I just felt awful. I had vivid dreams about her every night and intrusive thoughts throughout the day. I tried my best to fight them back. I just hate that this happened to our family. My sister should still be here.
I know that how I feel right now is not permanent. I will overcome this. I saw a quote on Tumblr, that is helping me ride through this storm.
“Feelings come and feelings go. There is no need to fear them and no need to crave them. Be open to your feelings and experience them while they are here. Then be open to the feelings that will come next. Your feelings are a part of your experience. Yet no mere feeling, however intense it may seem, is your permanent reality.”