I am deeply saddened to hear a family member has suddenly passed away on Wednesday. Although I did not know him well, the ones that did are dear to me and my heart hurts knowing that theirs have been shattered by this loss.
I know right now it feels like a horrible dream and nothing seems real. I know how much it hurts to see others carry on as if nothing happened when your whole world has crumbled. No words can mend the pain. But I do remember how nice it felt to have loved ones around, not saying anything but simply being by my side. To sit quietly with me as my heart bled. Sometimes a silent presence can mean more than words ever could. I am glad that they are surrounded with love right now.
I look around at the Halloween costumes and think about how ghoulish and macabre it all is. I think about my family and all these images, smells and surroundings that will forever be burned into their mind, permanently linked to this time of loss, suffering and pain.
It is when someone close to us dies that we are zoomed out of the tiny details and reminded in a gentle but powerfully sinister way, that life is a fragile and unpredictable force. It suddenly causes you to see the big picture, the one that is so easily clouded over by meaningless day to day nonsense. It pushes all that away and leaves what is important.
In our day to day lives it is hard to remind ourselves of this, especially when we have never lost anyone close. But its when someone close to you dies, it is the only real reminder you have left. Life is short, live the life you want and love those you love deeply. Give it your all.
Sending love and warmth from the bottom of my heart to my family in Calgary. I am thinking about you.